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hello mr chris

hello mr chris, are you listening to this
it’s wiggly and giggly and shouldn't be missed
it’s got big fiery wings and lots of other things
which dingle and dangle from its teeth when it sings
it spits and it spats and it scares all the cats
and it likes to be called “Signore Gumblegats”

but you have to be careful(unless you are dareful)
because it so loves to talk and gives quite an earful
that nearing the end you may find yourself tearful
while the Gumble groans on with his smiling so cheerful
all arms and toes and slathering eyes
slurping his noodles and lying his lies
never seeing the slime oozing through its noisilous chimes
or the trail of destruction left by its unfortunate rhymes

SHHH! Can you see it just there? Slipping around with gumwacky hair?
oh, I think it smelled us approaching its lair!
the sound of its snipple-snaps are making me crack
I don’t want to end up a Gumblegat snack!
such a shrewd wordy beast wants more than just food
but needs the best of all phrases to feed its furry brood

let us sing it loud praises, play all our red aces
and back away slowly, leaving no traces
stop up our ears, ignore its sniffering sneers
and dodge the spiny puns of its spears
a poem we must leave, to calm its ennui
I hope this one will do, composed off my sleeve

“Oh great Gumblegat, I see where you’re at
You are the bestest of all the Gumblegat pack!
Your many shining eyes, your poetical cries
Even the way your knees buckle and sigh –
Your twelve lovely toes lined all neatly in rows
And all six of your nostrils on your six-foot nose

They give me such thrills, such frigidy chills
That I must warm myself by the fires from your gills.
Thanks be to thee, whether a he or a she
You are the bravest a brave Gat can be!”

I think he bought it, he’s in a devouring fit
Now let’s away before he recovers his wit!

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